There seem to be a lot of differing techniques and opinions on this subject. Some people think that snacks should be completely prohibited from church. Others are against toys or coloring or even quiet books. Here's what I think, simply based on experience, having been taught this way growing up. If you disagree with anything I say, that's fine. But I reserve the right to have my own opinion based on my own observations and experience. I'll respect your opinion, if expressed respectfully, and I hope to be able to expect the same from you! Any nasty comments will be deleted. Sorry.
Mom's technique had multiple facets. Part of her process of teaching us
to be reverent in Church was recognizing that we were children, and thus
had different needs and dispositions than adults. She made sure to take
care of our needs and harness our dispositions appropriately, such as
hunger and boredom. Here's how she did that:
Snacks:
Tiny tummies get hungry faster than adults. Hungry tummies make cranky children. My personal opinion is that it's okay to bring something small for your tiny ones to munch on. Three hours is actually a long time for those tiny tummies to be empty. HOWEVER, don't bring an entire meal! Don't bring something in a wrapper that makes noise and interrupts the Spirit! Don't bring something that will make a million crumbs all over the floor of the Lord's House! Those are not appropriate. And if you make a mess, clean it up! Check your bench or pew before leaving the chapel and leave it as clean as, or cleaner, than when you arrived. Remember, we're visitors in the Lord's house.
Toys:
Depending on how old your child is, they may have shorter attention spans, appropriate to their ages. I have a child between 1 and 2 years old. We bring a plethora of toys, because she moves around a lot. I have a 4 year old niece. She needs far fewer toys to keep her from getting antsy. Whatever the age, antsy children turn into cranky children. My qualifiers are these: if you opt to bring toys, they should be QUIET toys! Nothing that makes music or talks, nothing that jingles or rattles. Noise interrupts the Spirit. Even if children have a hard time listening to what's being spoken over the pulpit, they can still feel the Spirit and learn to recognize it.
Quiet Books/File Folders:
These are great options for appropriate activities to occupy your children when they need to be reverent. Quiet books can be purchased (I have seen some pretty great ones on Etsy), or they can be made. There are MANY blogs that give different patterns for them for free or very small prices. If you've never heard of file folders, they are just simple activities or games that are glued into file folders. There are some GREAT ones by Finch Family Games
here. Or you can search for File Folder Games and find quite a few ideas and downloads. Both quiet books and file folders can be intellectually and/or spiritually stimulating, thus assuaging that need to be busy that little kids have.
WHAT MOM DID THAT TAUGHT US TO SIT STILL:
The most important thing to remember here is that you need to start teaching your children when they are small. This applies to anything you're going to teach them. you have to keep in mind that the longer they go without being taught, the longer they have to get into their own methods of doing things. Is it not better to teach them the right way from the beginning instead of trying to turn them around after they're used to something else? That being said, here it is:
Whenever we were noisy, Mom would take us out. She did NOT let us run around. She did NOT let us goof off or have fun. We had to sit in her lap or sit right next to her. When we were calm enough to behave, the two of us went back in. The point is to make it more pleasant to be in the meeting being quiet, where we have something to do, instead of sitting with Mom doing nothing. If there are too many children running around undisciplined outside the meeting, go into an empty classroom, or even the car if you have to. You are teaching your child a new skill, being able to exercise self-control and be reverent.
YOUR CHILD WILL RESIST THIS!!! Just as they resist any new skill you begin to teach them! You teach them to go to sleep by themselves, they resist. You teach them to go to the bathroom by themselves, they resist. If they know that putting up a fuss in the meeting will get you to take them out and let them play, they will do it! They're smarter than we sometimes give them credit for. If we hold them to a higher (but definitely not impossible) standard, it is incredibly beneficial in the long run, and not just in learning reverence. In life, reasonably high expectations can be the difference between success and failure.
One thing I personally think you should NOT use is electronic babysitting! Don't give your kid a phone, tablet, ipod, or any other electronic device to play with during a sacred meeting! By doing this, you are teaching your child that sacred is equivalent to the mundane of the rest of the world. Sacred and mindless electronic games DO NOT belong in the same sphere. In order to teach your children reverence, they need to understand that church is different, it is sacred and thus should be approached with an entirely different attitude than everyday life. It is entirely worse when parents snub the sacred things to engage in mundane. Don't be a bad example, please.
Sometimes we were rowdy without actually being noisy (this was when we were a little older). Mom came up with a new way to teach us reverence. She would, of course, ask us to stop and to behave with reverence. If we didn't, she would pay attention to how long we were misbehaving, and when we got home, we would have to sit quietly and reverently on the couch for the same amount of time, so that we got plenty of practice doing it the right way. Your children will either learn what you carefully teach them, or what everyone else or they themselves teach them. Every skill they need to learn has a way to teach them. If you look, you can find ideas for about anything. Like I mentioned before, some people will fight against what I've said. Have your own opinion, but I know from personal experience that these things work, and there are many people who agree with these things. It's not torture to teach your child a new skill in a loving and patient way like this. Thanks for reading!
